Got wood?

This year my home folly is having a wood burning stove fitted. Not because I care about the environment. Not to save money, or even for the cosy glow that only real flames can give you.

It's because I like to burn things.

Wood mainly, and possibly a Euro 2012 wall chart when England get knocked out in the quarter finals.

Today it was the joy of quotes from installers. An endless parade of air sucked through teeth, of hushed mutterings about "building regs", of opinions delivered in a firm voice that totally contradicted what the previous guy had to say.

• You have to insulate your flue mate
• You don't have to insulate.

• You HAVE to have a liner mate
• I ALWAYS fit a liner, even though you don't have to
• I recommend a liner
• Fuck lining your chimney. You got a baby's bedroom mate? I'll just vent the stove into that

One guy made a great play about having to use scaffolding to get up the two storeys to the roof.

Another guy was blase about it - "just a ladder job mate".

Someone else is coming this afternoon - I'm guessing he'll favour some kind of circus based trampoline system to get up there.

I've set aside the whole of tomorrow morning to have a good mull.

• Which guy made the most sense?
• Who seemed the most knowledgeable?
• Do I go with the young and dynamic but slightly wide boy, or the more solid older guy?

And then I'll pick the lowest quote.