Wednesday 18 November 2009

Oh god, Spotify!

First off - I do like Spotify. I use it all the time.
Despite the fact that it's ads drive me up the wall. Here's an ad for you. Heard it 3 times already today? Goodo. Here it is, another fifty seven times in a row...

It's like an annoying guy you meet at a party. He keeps coming up to switch you to his point of view...

[Here comes the bald, freaky looking guy in over tight shirt]
Have you heard the new Robbie Williams album?
Nope. (Drift away to the buffet)

[Here he comes again]
You really should try the new Robbie Williams album
No thanks (hey, is that girl looking at me?)

[Uh-oh, same annoying dude]
It's really good, I'll hum a line of it to you.
Really, no thank you (she is, she's looking over here, let's try smiling, that's a neat trick)

[Aaargh, sod off Robbie fan]
I'm humming a line of it right now, hmmmm, hmmmm, everyone wants to look good naked-
Go away (Right, stomach in, approach with your left side)

[Pitter patter of annoying feet]
Robbie was the best one out of Take Th-
(Smile at the girl. She's smiling back! Don't mess this up now.)

"Hi," she says. "I heard you humming back there. I love Robbie too!"

Three seconds later...the girl...on the floor.
I just don't know what made my right arm lash out like that



My favourite Spotify ad is the one where they describe the lengths they go to in order to target the right ads at the right people - so they don't bombard people with ads "not meant for them".

Then proceed to play me that same one six times in a row.

Or the one when the guy talks about the offline playlist feature. Now you can go to your summerhouse with Spotify!

Summerhouse?

I have a shed. It's full of spiders. With a bag of sand and some paving slabs to stop it blowing away in the wind. But I guess at least now I can go and squat in there listening to the hits of the Flying Pickets.

Now I could go and buy the premium version - no ads! But that would be a little too much like giving in. Of surrendering. Plus, I get off on the buzz of muting the sound system when the ads come on.

6 comments:

  1. All true. Have you thought about changing your gas supplier recently?

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  2. Though to give them their due....

    Playing me lots of "back to work" ads recently

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  3. Smiling IS a neat trick. But you should learn to spin first.

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  4. glad you picked up on that.

    just for you Phil. Just for you

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  5. I honestly don't know what Spotify is!!
    I have some ads on Facebook that come down the right hand side... and I get the same ad on both my profiles... but with a different age on them!! (One of my profiles lies!!) ;-)
    The first time I noticed on 'Rosa'... I thought 'ha ha... you're wrong this time!"... but then I remembered that I'd knocked five years off my age on there! :-)
    Sneaky!!
    Does that mean I can get TWO free phones???

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  6. Try www.spotify.com.
    It's software for your computer or phone that allows you to listen to a wide variety of music. The computer version is completely free, although some consider the ads a much higher price...

    Yes. You're allow two free phones. I heard somewhere that you can walk into carphone warehouse in town and grab them from there...

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