Movie Review: Due Date

Do you remember the eighties movie "Planes, Trains and Automobiles"?

In this Steve Martin and John Candy play two polar opposites who are forced to join together to trek across country by any means of transport at their disposal because of a plausible reason why they cannot fly. It features likable characters, amusing situations and ultimately believable character growth.

Well Due Date, it's almost the same.

In this Robert Downey Jr and Zach Galifianakis play two polar opposites who are forced to join together to trek across country by any means of transport at their disposal because of a plausible reason why they cannot fly. It features likable characters, amusing situations and ultimately believable character growth.

Except with Due Date, they kinda left out the jokes. This was four hours of grind. Of one bizarre and unbelievable situation leading to an even more bizarre and uncomfortable situation.

Go watch this movie if you like comedy films that aren't funny.

Go watch this movie if you like shots of simulated dog masturbation.

Go watch this movie if you're an evil person and want to get some penance out of the way early.

The the best things in this movie are (in this order):

• A clip of a Tom and Jerry cartoon
• Pink Floyd's "Hey You"
• The "Legendary Pictures" animated logo at the start. This was fairly exciting
• A cameo of the not very hilarious Charlie Sheen sitcom "Two and a half men"

Oh, and all the vaguely funny bits are in the trailer. So you could just watch that instead, have a half smirk from the comfort of home.

Moview Review: Skyline

In short, this was a bit shit.

In slightly more words...

The movie opens with the standard disaster movie technique, the mysterious Exciting Incident.

You've not got a clue what's going on, so interest is piqued, what's going to happen next?

Unfortunately what happens next is another standard technique, the words "Fifteen Hours Earlier".

I want to see aliens trashing LA, not the chattering of rich, unsubstantial and above all tedious folk.

When the action does return to alien pillaging fun it's a messed up mix of Independence Day, The Matrix and War Of the Worlds, taking all of the best bits of the action but none of the charm of any of the characters.

I believe I saw a smile being cracked at one point, though possibly just a muscle spasm as a result of an alien death ray.

One of the stars was Donald Faison, Doctor Turk on Scrubs. I had far more fun imagining JD attempting to bond with an alien gribbley than actual watching the film.

It's a movie that has the look of a big budget. I'm all for curbing the excess of the Hollywood crap machine, but couldn't they have made a better film?

Gordon Ramsay, pet lover

So Gordon Ramsay has written an open letter to his mother in law imploring her not to cut off contact with his family after a slight spat with her husband (he fired him).
Details here: http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23896008-dont-cut-off-my-family-gordon-ramsays-plea-to-mother-in-law-in-sacking-row.do


This is an early draft dictated via the new version of Dragon NaturallySpeaking, with built in profanity filter.

Dear Mother-in-law

Puppies.

Puppies you.

Puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, kittens, puppies you.

I apologise. Getting emotional here. I puppies mean it.

You are the greatest puppies mother in puppies law a puppies chef could ever puppies have.

For puppies sake, please, puppies, please, don't take the spat between myself and your shetland pony cute bunny husband out on your daughter and your four grandchildren.

Yours puppily,
Gordon Puppies Ramsay

PS: Your old man is a complete and utter total fluffy bunny piece of candy floss pie wrapped around a sack of useless rotting yellow ducklings