I'm sorry Kevin James.
I liked you in that sitcom you did, King of Queens. I liked the whole chalk and cheese thing you had going on. You doing your whole chubby funny man thing with the impossibly hot wife. Okay, so I lie. I only watched it for the impossibly hot wife, but c'mon, she was hot. But still, sometimes you'd do something fatman that amused me. I dunno. Ate a massive burger or cheated on your wife with a plate of nachos or something.
But now you've become the guy in the films that are automatically shit.
Tonight I saw the poster for your film, The Zookeeper. There you are in your fat man shirt with your fat man grin luring me in with the promise of fat man jokes. Perhaps I'm being judgemental and unduly harsh, but I've seen the trailer for Paul Blart: Mall Cop, and I've heard the premise for The Dilemma (and by the way, it's not hard is it. YOU TELL YOUR BEST MATE HIS WIFE'S CHEATING ON HIM).
Okay, so Hitch was passable, but that was mainly down to Will Smith's innate coolness.
(Interesting side note - they actually modelled one of the characters and how he talked to women on me. Not that I'm trying to brag or anything, but I have been known to rap).
Anyway Kevin, I'm sorry. From now on I will review all your films based on the amount of fat man gurning going on in the poster. And I'm sorry to say, any amount of fat man gurning, is too much.
It's your own fault. If you will star in films with Adam Sandler.
Sunday, 31 July 2011
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